Goodbye to 2021, better late than never I guess

2021, what a year. People are posting about how great it was or how awful it was and honestly I'm still not sure how I feel. This year was kind of a blur to me if I am being completely honest. On one hand this year brought me new friends, new experiences, and my beautiful little Emma. On the other hand, this year brought me hyperemesis, post partum depression, and pure exhaustion. 

As most of you probably don't know me very well, let's get into it. I found out I was pregnant with our second in December 2020. This was a very different experience with pregnancy because we actually planned this one (I know what a concept). Starting at 6 weeks of pregnancy I became extremely ill. I was in and out of triage getting fluids, meds, and monitored 12+ times during my pregnancy. I needed multiple iron infusions to try and avoid blood transfusions and ended up with not one but two hemorrhages. All of this while also starting nursing school at about 10 weeks pregnant and only taking one week off when I gave birth. I promise you I am not superhuman, keep reading and you'll find out how I managed. 

One of my highs of 2021 is friends and family. I sincerely don't know where I would be without the support that I received. My husband picked up more than his fair share of parenting our toddler (are they still a toddler at 3?) I met some amazing friends in nursing school that took notes for me if I had to miss and absolutely had my back through 12 hour clinicals when I was 36 weeks pregnant. I'm talking about a friend that took one for the team and cleaned up a #2 disaster with a smell so bad I thought it might send me into labor. You simply don't find a friend better than that. 

I went through pregnancy with one of my best friends and although it sounds like a perfect instagram situation, let me tell you it was not. There were some extreme lows early on followed by some extreme highs in the fall. We cried, were scared, and even got mad at our husbands together. At the end of it I had my sweet little girl and got to watch one of the most deserving couples welcome their precious girl. Watching them become parents was one of my absolute favorite parts of 2021. 

I watched my step sister get married to her high school sweetheart and got to watch Charlie (my oldest) be a flower girl in multiple weddings. She eventually got very good at it and even decided to take on MOH duties and straighten the wedding dress at the altar. See below for picture proof and just try to tell me she isn't the cutest. 


From August to December 2021 I discovered what becoming a mom of two kids is really like and oh boy. Even after all the warnings of how hard it was, I was truly unprepared for what was in store. For me it was sleepless nights, breastfeeding questions, mom guilt, unwashed hair, and more breastfeeding questions. I felt like I couldn't possibly figure out to parent these two tiny humans and I felt guilty that my oldest was losing parts of me that she had always had. Somehow, through the last few months, I have figured out something that works for us. Something people don't tell you about adding a second baby to your family is how your love doesn't split between them, it doubles. I was so afraid before Emma that I could not possibly love her as much as I loved Charlie. I was so incredibly wrong 

A lot of you probably also don't know that this was my first full year of marriage with my husband, Jacob. Now Jacob and I have known each other for the better part of our lives, 17 years to be exact. So you think we would know each other pretty well at this point. Despite that, the first year of marriage was hard. I don't know if it was hard because the first year of marriage is always hard or if it was just because we added an unhealthy amount of stressors (I quit my job, started nursing school, got pregnant, he joined a specialty at work, and our sweet two year old turned into a threenager). Regardless, we made it through everything together.

2021 is over and although I am glad for some reasons, it will also hold a special part in my heart. It was hard but man was it worth it. 

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